but i was only PRETENDING to pee in the freezer

Well, thank god he was only pretending to pee in the freezer, but you just never know around here. (For those of you who might be thinking I have either an incredibly tall or well endowed three year old, our freezer is on the bottom.) Sam just couldn't understand why his father might yell at the mere appearance of him taking a whiz onto our frozen foods. These moments sum up the chaos of our household.

Sure, we only have one kid. Lots of almost-forty somethings have two or three kids. But, let me justify my whining a bit.

We have a lot of animals. Not a crazy "call the county on them" number of animals, but more than your average family. We've got 3 dogs (including yet another new/old heartworm positive Great Dane named Sandy), 5 indoor-only cats, 1 cat who believes himself to be feral who lives on our porch (I think it's an act and I *WILL* get him in the house), and 1 incredibly cranky Senegal parrot. I should also note that each of these animals has some kind of medical "quirk," shall we say, that ends up being both costly and inconvenient.

Now, put that all together with an extremely active toddler and smush it into 1,250 square feet, add a bit of daycare (but not enough for full time care), and two full time jobs that seem to bleed over into evenings, weekends, and "vacation" days. And from that grand package, subtract financial stability and voila, you have our family.

In that context, "I was only PRETENDING to pee in the freezer" seems to be a pretty reasonable statement, certainly one that didn't necessitate parental scolding. When he starts PRETENDING to go to school, while secretly going to the movies with friends, or PRETENDING that he's not sexually active when the condom wrapper evidence proves otherwise, well, then we can think about doing some scolding. Or some locking in the room until puberty is over, thinking back to those wonderful days in which he was *only* peeing in the fridge.....